Emotional Intelligence and Mindfulness

Self-awareness: Self-awareness involves knowing your own feelings. This includes having an accurate assessment of what you’re capable of, when you need help, and what your emotional triggers are.  This is particularly relevant with mindfulness  as we explore and get in touch with our own sense of self awareness.

MIndfulness Emotional Intelligence

Before you can do anything with emotional intelligence, you have to know what your emotions are.  This means you have to have a depth of self awareness – and improving your self-awareness is the first step to identifying any challenge and taking steps toward a solution.  This is emotional intelligence.

At Mind Body Calm, of course the most powerful way to greater self awareness is though mindfulness activities.  Here are some other ways to connect with your self and improve your self-awareness:

Keep a journal: Mind Body Calm recommends keeping a journal of your emotions. Choose a time that suits you for personal reflection, towards the end of the day, and write down what happened to you, how you felt, and how you dealt with it. Be mindful of times you over-reacted to some trigger.

Slow down (embrace mindfulness): Emotions have a habit of getting the most out of control when we don’t have time to slow down or process them. Stop and breather.  Practice living in the moment.  Make it a new habit.  Breathe deeply into your belly and perhaps raise your hands above your head.

Sydney's Happiness Life Coach

The pursuit of happiness encourages and informs much of what we do in our day to day life.

We work to have better things so that we can be happy.  We exercise and eat well so that we can be happy knowing we have done the right things.

Happiness Life Coach Sydney

Truly, happiness impacts numerous of our actions and efforts in life. We spend a terrific offer of time, effort and cash in the acquisition of 'things' believing that as soon as we have the ideal partner, house, vehicle, bank balance, physical qualities, ownerships, holidays or kids we will be pleased and fulfilled, that happiness will descend upon us and stay our consistent companion.

It is frequently our suffering that enables us to realise that joy is not derived from the outer situations of our lives-- that certainly, joy is an inside job.

Success Life Coaching

Possibly it is a quirk of human nature that we don't actively seek the ingredients for real happiness up until the unforeseen, the unasked for and often, the unimaginable happens in our life. Real happiness is not disrupted by the outer circumstances of our life. Real joy is not interrupted by trauma, tragedy, health problem or death of our physical body.

From the moment of our birth, our consciousness begins to enmesh itself into our physical body according to the feelings we experience. Whether we feel safe, safe and secure, loved, cared for, valued and happy or denied, afraid, overlooked, abandoned, abused or declined, the chemicals of our sensations flood from our brain and body and supply biological details to the cells of our body.

Scientific interest in joy-- or subjective well-being, as the majority of scientists prefer to call it-- has actually surged in the past few decades. Well-being is about more than experiencing positive feelings; it has to do with being pleased with life, satisfying our potential and feeling that our lives are worthwhile and have significance.  It's what we do at Life Coach Sydney.

Happiness Training

I am not concerned here with the joy of deep personal transformation or the bliss of enlightenment, but about daily happiness: the things that make ordinary people pleased-- or unhappy-- their individual lives.  It's about letting go of negativity and embracing happiness.

Our subjective wellness is shaped by our genes, our individual circumstances and options, the social conditions we live in, and the complex methods which all these things connect. Genes affect our wellness primarily through their impact on personality type such as extraversion and neuroticism, which are related to greater and lower wellbeing respectively.

We likewise now know there are genes 'for' depression, stress and anxiety and dependency (that is, they are connected with increased vulnerability to these issues).

Getting unstuck from Overwhelm

You're bored. You feel stuck and in a rut. 

Those are all ways we have of describing the times in our lives when we can't seem to move forward. You might ask your friends for advice or read a self-help book. However, within you is the most powerful wisdom of all — it's the one some call your "Inner Coach." It's also called by many other names; intuition, inner guidance, wisdom within, and the voice of your soul. 

Whatever you call it, learning to listen to its insight requires two things: a practice that facilitates quieting your mind, such as meditation, prayer, or communing with nature; and an understanding or discovery of how you receive answers. Intuition is one of the most common ways of receiving this wisdom. It's your "Inner Coach."

When you're struggling with something in your life, you want to fix it. You'll probably do anything to get out of the stress of the experience. But what if this conflict is really asking you to sit with the pain and listen to its message? What's really going on? What is the experience trying to teach you? If you can get to the heart of it, you'll prevent it from coming back in another form. So before you take action, be still and listen within. Your Inner Coach would like some time to be heard.

Pockets of Quietude

Best-selling author and management consultant Jim Collins, recommends creating what he calls "pockets of quietude" in your schedule. These can be small periods of time marked off on your schedule for self reflection. It's an appointment with yourself to find an inner calm, tap into your center, and find time for creative solutions to difficult problems. Pockets of quietude can also take the form of a day off, a few hours for a quiet lunch, or simply meditation time when you need creative inspiration and self-reflection. Taking those pockets of time can just be a moment of brief prayer and contemplation. You might ask yourself questions such as "What's the most loving response to this situation?" or "How would I approach this if I felt calm?" Pay attention to any intuitive response that makes you feel more peaceful or clear.

The dictionary defines intuition as "quick and ready insight." It comes from the Latin word "intueri" which means to "look within." Intuition tells you what you need to know, when you need to know it, providing valuable insight into yourself and the world around you. It's a connection to your soul. When you ask your intuition for insight, you're tapping into your Spirit and seeking wise guidance.

How do you receive intuitive information?

Intuition communicates in different ways to each of us. Following are some of the ways it makes itself known.

Inner Voice — Many people report a "still, quiet, inner voice." Your intuition will always communicate with you in a compassionate, loving manner that is perceptibly different from your normal inner chatter.

Dreams — Keep a pad of paper and pen beside your bed. Before you drift off to sleep, state simply, "I need information about ____." Write down your dream when you awaken to discern the guidance you've received.

Emotions — You may simply "feel right" about a certain course of action. Or you might experience a sense of distrust about an individual or situation. Get in the habit of checking in with your emotions before making a decision. "How am I feeling about this choice?"

Physical sensations — You may have heard of it referred to as a "gut feeling." However, there are many ways your body can communicate with you. Think back on when you've made a good or bad decision. How did you experience it in your body?

Instant knowing — You may receive a sudden flash of understanding. People often report that these knowings come when they least expect them — taking a shower, walking the dog, doing the dishes.

Symbols — It's often said that "A picture is worth a thousand words." You might receive a symbolic impression of a rocky road if you choose "Path A." If you choose "Path B," you may see a clear, well-paved road in your mind's eye.

Inner Coach Exercise:

Intuitive information comes to you most easily when you're in a relaxed state of mind. To get into a receptive mood close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths.

Bring to mind an issue or problem you're trying to solve. Ask your intuition a question about your concerns. Phrase your question in a way that evokes more than a "yes or no" answer. Below are some examples:

• "How could I improve the relationship with my partner?"
• "What could I do to increase my business this year?"
• "What's my right next step?"
• "What do I need to know about this issue?"

Write down any impressions you receive. You may find that intuitive insights won't pop into your mind right away, but will come hours after doing this exercise.

Assessing Intuitive Data

Let's say you have a choice to make and it must be made now. You've researched, asked questions and have all the facts in front of you. But you still don't know what to do. Your next step requires intuitive input. Here are three questions to stimulate that guidance.

1. What am I ready to act on right now?

Your decision may require a small step, not a huge leap. Quite often when you take a step forward, more information becomes available to you. Many people report that as they make an intuitive choice toward what proves to be a correct decision, events begin flowing more easily and effortlessly.

2. Which of my choices has the most "vitality?"

Think of the options you have before you. Which one are you drawn to? Is there one that leaps to your attention and captures your interest? You may experience a visceral charge about pursuing this course of action. Remember — kinaesthetic or physical sensations are one of the ways that intuition communicates.

3. How do I feel about my choices?

Do you feel excited or passionate about one of your choices? This is one of the ways that intuition will point you in the right direction. Conversely, if a choice makes you feel depressed or discouraged, or you feel a great deal of resistance, you're ignoring a strong intuitive message if you continue on this path.

Like any skill, the more you practice, the better you'll get. Make the time to routinely check in with your intuition and you'll be rewarded with faster, stronger and more accurate insight. The benefit? You'll no longer feel stuck and you'll be on your way to a more fun and energized life!

Structures in Personal Coaching

Structures in Coaching - bringing your dreams to life every day.

A structure is a real world tool, strategy or technique that makes it easier for you to bring the ideas and goals of your coaching session to reality.

I have seen in my own coaching how I can be talking so visionary and big picture, but within a few hours I could slump back into the old day to day drudge and completely lose that coaching energy until the next session.

That's where structures come into play.  Structures disrupt the everyday normalness of our pre-coach life and prompt us to re-direct our focus toward the new, desirable action.

You will really appreciate being able to keep the energy and passion of your coaching session alive and sustained throughout the time in between your client calls.  This means taking action on your aims and plans is more likely to be top of mind and easily enacted.

It's like having a support plan of secondary strategies to keep the coaching going during the in between times.  one client called it his away game strategy, and I really got that concept.

These structures are about what you can do to keep the coaching mojo alive and bubbling away, so you get incremental growth.  Incremental growth means an almost imperceptible change over time, and that's important at Life Coaching Newcastle as you move towards your goal with little steps on a daily basis. It's variously called chunking down, or eating an elephant on bite at a time - you get the picture?

And most importantly, keeping these structures simple, easily accessible and top of mind means there is no disconnect from the coaching synergy.  Your client is engaged and committed through each and every day leading up to your next session.  This means there is less dread or pressure of failing or of having to cancel a meeting because the homework has not been completed.

Structures for Personal Coaching

For example, putting a note in the client’s calendar is a simple structure for jogging the memory and getting that person to take a desired action. But a structure will work only if people notice it. Whether or not they do what the structure indicates, the structure will lead to learning. The number of structures to get people into action is unlimited.  

Basic Coaching Structures

Here are some structures that have helped people make long lasing change:

• Call your coach’s voice mail or your own voice mail every day when a certain
task is done. Or send an e-mail.
• Wear a rubber band on your wrist when you want to remember to do something,
such as breathe deeply, speak powerfully, sit up straight, turn complaints into requests, or tell someone something positive.

• Throw a dinner party once a month. This can be a structure for cleaning house
or keeping up relationships with friends.

• Find an exercise partner.  This doesn't have to be for every exercise event - just once a week might be enough.

• Devise an intentionally fabricated deadline on the day you start a project—such
as scheduling a meeting to show a colleague or friend your completed project in
two weeks.

• Schedule appointments with one friend a week for two months.

• Put a chair in front of the door when you come in at night to remind yourself to
take along important documents tomorrow.

• Send yourself an e-mail or voice mail to request that a certain task be done.

• Ask a friend to send you a pre-designed postcard once a month to encourage
you to . . .

Counting is a structure.

When you want to pay attention to a certain behavior - when your Saboteur shows up, for example, or when you acknowledge others simply count how many times you do it in any given day. 

This is a structure that focuses your attention on noticing, on developing awareness and mindfulness. 

You can also count the number of cigarettes smoked, the number of calories consumed, the number of sales appointments, the number of times you apologize, etc. 

Counting does not require you to do anything other than notice. But noting every time you do something heightens your awareness.

A talisman can be a structure. A toy lion by the phone can remind the client to
be ferocious in pursuit of a goal.

A coach is one of the best structures

Coaching is a relationship of accountability and a place where clients stop everything while they look at their lives, at how they are doing, and whether they are headed in the direction they want.

Time Management

This category includes any kind of calendar, day timer, or to-do list. It can be paper, computer based, store-bought or handmade, rigorously designed down to the quarter
hour, or just an overview. The key to its effectiveness is how well it fits the client.  

There is a mistaken belief that there is just one right way. For all the evolution in format
and technology, from pencil and paper to palmtop, the appropriate system is
what works for your client.

Money Management

For most people, about the only structure they have for managing this significant
area of their lives is the register in their checkbooks. Other structures might include
computer programs, a monthly budget, regularly scheduled money management
discussions with a spouse, or the services of a financial planner or home budget
consultant. 
This is by no means an exhaustive list; it merely gives you a sense of the
variety of options available.

Using the Senses

For clients who are highly visual, any structure that appears in their daily field of vision
is likely to work—sticking notes to their computer, the cabinet above the desk, or the refrigerator door, for example.
Repainting a room to change the visual space might be an important new structure for a client, or simply changing a chair position so that the client is forced to look at the world from a different perspective. 
Any structural device that engages these clients visually is likely to be powerful and effective.

Think about how you could use the other senses as well. 
Auditory structures, like music or an audiotape of affirmations, and even particular fragrances can be very powerful structures. Religious ceremonies and rituals have used fragrance for thousands of years because it’s a structure that works. How could you use the structure of smell creatively in your clients’ lives?

Some of the best structures come from your intuition and may not seem to
make sense at first. Place watermelon seeds on the kitchen window sill . . . carry a
flashlight in your briefcase . . . wear mismatched shoes today. 

One reason structures work is because they interrupt the ordinary mind-flow and grab your attention. The more outrageous they are, the more likely it is that they’ll interrupt the semiconscious way we often glide through our days.

You may have a whole catalog of structures you have used with clients. That’s
handy and a great source of ideas. But it’s also very effective to let clients create
their own structures. Remember, structures disrupt the everyday old normal and trigger the client to seek the new behaviour as a reminder.

Gluten Free Personal Coach Bren Murphy

Gluten FreePersonal Coach Bren Murphy

The International Coach Federation (2004), the self-evolving international
regulatory body of coaching, identifies this approach as one of its four core coach competencies,
“facilitating learning and results”.

As explained within this competency, it is the responsibility of coaches to facilitate the development of goals and the designing of actions which lead to the achievement of these goals. Furthermore coaches must help to create client awareness to promote learning and development and finally generate the self-directed and self-regulated progress of clients by tracking their progress and managing accountability.

As Grant (2001a) explained, goal setting ignites the coaching cycle. This is followed by focused, planned action toward the achievement of the goals which in turn utilises various methods of observation, assessment and analysis to monitor and evaluate situations prevailing in clients’ lives.

Then, by capitalising on their inherent creativity and potential, clients’ realities are expanded towards a future vision. Finally, maintenance, support structures and constructive evaluation and feedback complete the coaching cycle in the achievement of goals.
Whilst this is a broad framework within which coaching occurs, there are also common elements of coaching processes which have been shown to lead to successful coaching outcomes.

http://eprints.qut.edu.au/6633/1/Griffiths-Coaching-Learning.pdf